sfmunistories@gmail.com- We ride it, so we should be able to talk shit on it.

Do you have a MUNI Story that you would like to share anonymously? E-mail it to sfmunistories@gmail.com and please be sure to include the following information: line, direction, and the approximate time (7 years ago in April, 1/9/1999) during which the story took place. Let's together document MUNI- the good, the bad, the amazing, the heart warming, the heart breaking, and everything else in between.

Monday, November 16, 2009

the train

On a daily basis, I commute through San Francisco on one of the light rails.

Obviously, there are perks- some run all night, the price (even though $55 feels like a lot of money for a one month pass at times, compared to the rest of the country it's about as cheap as you can get) the "regularity" of arrival times, and the security.

However, on the downside, it's usually never an easy or quick ride. It always takes an hour to get completely across town, for a city of only 8 square miles it essentially means that doing down town it never averages more than 3 miles per hour. In the past week, 3 days have been an issue, which usually means I'm late for work and look sketchy, like a drug addict or something always showing up late. One day at midday, the bus didn't come for 30 mins, things like this are especially common on Mondays and Fridays. In all honestly, the nextmuni website and the phone never match, which also never matches to the exact arrival times. Ghost trains appear on a daily basis, and I don't understand how they are missed, given the satellite technology and given just how large these machines are. A day before that the bus arrived on time, but was met with a standstill of about 3 or 4 trains waiting behind a broken train at a major intersection. Profoundly inconvenient. Then, 2 days before that it was case of a bus that wasn't what it says it was, where a bus changes route midway through its commute.

Being on time is generally the case, the problem is that if any of too many variables just go a little bit wrong, it can double the travel time immediately. Is this a case of chaos? Where very small differences in input into a system have vastly different outcomes?

The major changes and cuts set to take place on 12/5/09 are not going to be met with much hospitality, especially considering the upcoming holiday season.

Saturday, April 25, 2009

constant struggle

So anyways, I started my day by checking nextmuni. The L wasn't coming for 26 mins, but I left right away and the bus came right as I got to the stop. It took a long time, because the driver wasn't driving very fast (which means it must have been moving slower that the 30 mins for 3 miles we already calculated).

But here's a cute and fun story! The driver got on the intercom to say that if you had a pass with not that much time on it, to come to the front and she would give you a new one! Seriously how sweet and chill was that?

Then, after getting downtown, I went to get on the 27. It came about 6 or 7 mins late, and the driver was really slow. The 27 is one of those REALLY diverse buses- as in there's a million and one types of garbage people/immigrants on the bus, but then there's always normal people too. It's because it's one of those lines that travel between social classes, by travelling between such different parts of the city.

Then, a bum in a wheelchair got on- and the entire bus started to smell like that sweet sour sweat smell we already established in previous blogs! The bum had a friend, neither of whom paid. Wow, I wonder if when a bum in wheelchair gets on the bus as it goes through skid row if that person is really a drug dealer?

How come nobody is talking about the bum drug dealers who sell pills and uppers out of their wheelchairs? P.s.- that's not a baby in those fucking baby carriages full of garbage!

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

sweet and sweaty

I'm about to decribe the smell that to me, smells the worst. Sometimes small children smell this way. Bums and drug addicts ususally smell this way too. Imagine being rolled in a bunch of sugar. Then, you get really sweaty, and it stays like that for a long time. Sour is a good adjective, maybe even yeasty? Maybe it's just other people's b.o. that I pick up on. In an erotic sense, body odor is a huge turn on, but not when you smell it on other people daily life events. 

Anyways, On Tuesday night I was on the L outbound to Ocean Beach at about 10:15 pm. The bus was really crowded, and after getting on the bus downtown, 2 bums sat in front of me. One was white, corpulent, with stringy medium length wavy brown hair (w/ flakes) and was smelling of the rather potent odor in the aforementioned paragraph. He was accompanied by a shorter, lithe, young Mexican man with a bowl haircut, stubble, and a greasy face that needed some expedient attention. 

I thought I was going to get lucky and the bums would get off at one of the "bum hotspots" like civic center or hippy hill, but no, I had to smell that sour sweet b.o. smell for the better part of 45 mins, all the way to my stop. Why is it quicker to go to other cities by BART than it is to travel across a city that's only 8 square miles? Does it take half an hour to travel 4 miles?

*edit- it takes 30 mins to travel 3 miles- minimum. "That's hella slow!"

does Christine = coke?

Has anyone noticed the superabundance of graffiti and scratchiti all over the muni? I'd like to say I don't mind it. Last night, some amazing graffiti was on the wall at Montgomery Station. Written in pencil, on the large map of the muni system, you know, the one with the white background. 

fucking addicted to that bitch Christine

I could kiss your asshole and lick it clean

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Every little step I take

A few days ago, I was on my way to work on the L outbound. Lately, I've been sitting in one of those backwards seats, that face the wall in the hopes of dealing with as little bullshit as possible.

Immediately after entering the car, a teen aged mother and her friend came on the bus and sat next to me, plopping her baby, who was barely able to hold its head up, onto one of the seats next to her. Immediately, I got disappointed, purely for the fact that everyone knows that we see examples of the next generation of garbage people everywhere in front of our eyes. Every day poor ghetto people reproduce to have poor, ghetto babies... everywhere... but then I thought about how everyone thinks so little of someone like that, and maybe it would be better to just think that her life and her baby's lives would be ok.

A few stops later, a gruff, throaty, hollowed out voice got on the bus, and tried to talk to the baby moma. If I had to guess, I would say that she was from the projects by the beach, but even someone who lives in the projects knows to steer clear from those who have obviously chosen to live outside the accepted society, or those who have lost touch with reality. As a side note, those who are lucky enough to live in the projects by the beach have it good when it comes to projects- they're the beverly hills of the project world.

To make a long story short, a crackie got on the bus, and began to sing as loud as the weakened, crack-debilitated vocal chords could get. What was he singing? Only New Edition. In addition to having a scary voice that sounded as though it was going to sputter out forever at any moment, he also only knew about 3/5 of the words. I assume he was playing the music in his ipod- how the fuck do garbage people seem to have an effortless time when it comes to acquiring cell phones and other bits of technology? I could not begin to estimate how many bums I've seen with cell phones.

People started moving into the other car. All the asians on the bus were at this moment, going crazy. I often wonder how people can live in a country for many many years, and manage to not learn a single word of english. Finally he got off after getting to west portal, but only after letting everyone know on the bus that he had overstayed his welcome.

Saturday, March 21, 2009

I don't want to hear no bullshit

Today on the 71 inbound, going from Haight/Masonic to 5th and Market, a funny thing happened. I came on to the bus during a rainy, overcast day. I was greeted by a good looking woman sporting pretty, fine features, and a smooth, youthful, even skin tone with FLAWLESS makeup- she had highlighted and lowlighted her face to perfection. In fact, she reminded me of RuPaul. Her braids looked hella cute as well. Her face had a look of calm contentment.

The bus had been OK so far, although I had to stand for a while, until a homeless man who WREAKED of urine sat 2 seats away from me. Initially, I was horrified because I thought it was me who smelled like pee. Ironically, as the bum was waiting to get off the bus, a dirty looking old white man got on the bus and made his way towards me. "I wonder if he's going to sit in the bum seat," I asked myself. He immediately took the bum's seat that had been vacated a few seconds before. The old man then either dropped some shit on the floor, or saw some garbage by his feet which deserved some attention... I thought it was ironic that his head was hovering just a few centimeters away from the bum's ass for more than 5 seconds. The bum had what appeared to be feces all over his grey long sleeve shirt, almost as if someone had wiped his or her ass with the shirt, then gave it back to its owner. As far as the ass/face hovering- old people move slowly, it's to be expected, and it's part of aging.

A few other memorable people on the bus-

A grizzled old white woman with coke bottle glasses and a floor length burgundy down coat, manically reading her bible, then humming hymns out loud to herself after reading proved too time consuming.

2 older black men in the back of the bus having a heated (not angry heated, just excited heated) and loud 10 minute conversation about fucking 15 and 16 year old girls when they were in their mid 20s.

Anyways, things downtown have been kind of crazy, with Prop 8, the 6 year anniversary of the war, the financial collapse, and subsequent hundred billion dollar CEO payoff/ corporate bailout. I noticed that the 7 line had parked on the side of the street, with no where to go. Since it's an electric line, if something is to come in its way, like a 5,000 person protest, then the bus has no where to go. I often wonder if protesters will start protesting the protests.

The driver, being confronted with the current unexpected surprise of a huge protest closing down Market street, got on her intercom in an effort to make things run more smoothly for her riders as well as herself.

"Alright, this bus is going to be turning right on the street after Van Ness. I'm going to turn left on Mission. There is a large protest closing down market street. I'm going to drive down Mission, and hit all the same stops, so the bus is going to be one block off. Again, the bus is going to turn and go down mission street, and hit all the same stops. If you want to get off at 7th street, then get off at 7th street.

Alright, I don't want to hear NO bullshit. Ya got me?! Does everybody got that? I don't want to hear no bitching, no crying, cause I don't give a fuck! Does everyone understand?"

The whole bus broke out in laughter, and I think her ability to not take life too seriously made everyone's day, because then they themselves didn't have to take life so seriously.

(except for all the Asian immigrants who didn't understand, giving each other quick angry sounding and nervous exchanges wondering where they were going to end up)

Monday, June 30, 2008

intense breakdown on the N

About 3 or 4 years ago I was on the N outbound, and I'm pretty sure I got on around the dolores area. The bus ride was ok for a while, until after a few minutes an asian woman, a recent addition to america's diverse cultural landscape, began to go totally crazy.

She started screaming non-stop, and even spent some time rolling on the floor in the back of the N, which was already crowded for the day complete with many people standing around her. She was screaming, "I spill my bluh! I spill my bluh! I want govamen job!" She was also speaking in tounges and making all sorts of wails, overall it was super depressing and hard to watch, words don't really do the situation justice.

Overall, it was the most intense breakdown I've ever seen irl, and it made me feel weird because it was so upsetting. She looked normal enough in spite of being kind of fobby, almost cute with a long ponytail, that in some ways overshadowed her coke bottle glasses. She was also getting in people's faces, she was begging for help. After a while people started telling her to shut up, which was funny even though she was like, clearly going thru something serious.

Eventually, the bus driver came off, and I can't remember if he threw her off the bus, or just told her to shut the fuck up. She was so annoying that I was hoping someone would start beating her, because trust, at that moment that ho really did need to be slapped. I wish I could relive it again just for a minute, because it was so intense! I'd never heard more realistic bloodcurdling screams. It's strange to think that most people who work for the government were on par with her.