sfmunistories@gmail.com- We ride it, so we should be able to talk shit on it.

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Saturday, March 21, 2009

I don't want to hear no bullshit

Today on the 71 inbound, going from Haight/Masonic to 5th and Market, a funny thing happened. I came on to the bus during a rainy, overcast day. I was greeted by a good looking woman sporting pretty, fine features, and a smooth, youthful, even skin tone with FLAWLESS makeup- she had highlighted and lowlighted her face to perfection. In fact, she reminded me of RuPaul. Her braids looked hella cute as well. Her face had a look of calm contentment.

The bus had been OK so far, although I had to stand for a while, until a homeless man who WREAKED of urine sat 2 seats away from me. Initially, I was horrified because I thought it was me who smelled like pee. Ironically, as the bum was waiting to get off the bus, a dirty looking old white man got on the bus and made his way towards me. "I wonder if he's going to sit in the bum seat," I asked myself. He immediately took the bum's seat that had been vacated a few seconds before. The old man then either dropped some shit on the floor, or saw some garbage by his feet which deserved some attention... I thought it was ironic that his head was hovering just a few centimeters away from the bum's ass for more than 5 seconds. The bum had what appeared to be feces all over his grey long sleeve shirt, almost as if someone had wiped his or her ass with the shirt, then gave it back to its owner. As far as the ass/face hovering- old people move slowly, it's to be expected, and it's part of aging.

A few other memorable people on the bus-

A grizzled old white woman with coke bottle glasses and a floor length burgundy down coat, manically reading her bible, then humming hymns out loud to herself after reading proved too time consuming.

2 older black men in the back of the bus having a heated (not angry heated, just excited heated) and loud 10 minute conversation about fucking 15 and 16 year old girls when they were in their mid 20s.

Anyways, things downtown have been kind of crazy, with Prop 8, the 6 year anniversary of the war, the financial collapse, and subsequent hundred billion dollar CEO payoff/ corporate bailout. I noticed that the 7 line had parked on the side of the street, with no where to go. Since it's an electric line, if something is to come in its way, like a 5,000 person protest, then the bus has no where to go. I often wonder if protesters will start protesting the protests.

The driver, being confronted with the current unexpected surprise of a huge protest closing down Market street, got on her intercom in an effort to make things run more smoothly for her riders as well as herself.

"Alright, this bus is going to be turning right on the street after Van Ness. I'm going to turn left on Mission. There is a large protest closing down market street. I'm going to drive down Mission, and hit all the same stops, so the bus is going to be one block off. Again, the bus is going to turn and go down mission street, and hit all the same stops. If you want to get off at 7th street, then get off at 7th street.

Alright, I don't want to hear NO bullshit. Ya got me?! Does everybody got that? I don't want to hear no bitching, no crying, cause I don't give a fuck! Does everyone understand?"

The whole bus broke out in laughter, and I think her ability to not take life too seriously made everyone's day, because then they themselves didn't have to take life so seriously.

(except for all the Asian immigrants who didn't understand, giving each other quick angry sounding and nervous exchanges wondering where they were going to end up)

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